Lose a baby, get a baby

I described here how I felt after losing our 2nd baby but haven't said anything about it since then because there just isn't much to say. There are still so many questions I have that just can't be answered. There are still days that I think, "did that really happen?" It still makes me sad to think about all of the things we will miss with that sweet baby and there are times when something reminds me of our loss and I cry just as I did the day it happened. I just came to the realization that God has all the answers and he hasn't failed me yet so I better trust him with this.

Jeff and I decided pretty soon after losing the baby that we still wanted another baby and we didn't really have a reason to wait. The thought of losing another one was too much to think about so I didn't, and decided that God would work out those details too. I just had to wait and see what he had in store for us. Thankfully we didn't have to wait long.

I shook the entire time I took the test. Part of me wanted it to be positive but part of me wanted it to be negative so I wouldn't have a chance of miscarrying again. When it came up positive, I cried and prayed. Jeff and I were happy but scared and decided not to say anything to anyone until we had gone to the dr. and made sure everything was looking ok to start with. I figured that way it we lost this baby too, our family would hurt for us but not for themselves since they wouldn't have a chance to get excited about him/her. Thanks to "morning" sickness and moving, that wasn't possible. After going to our 1st dr. appointment at 7 weeks, 2 days, we learned everything looked perfect. Of course, I had been told this with our last baby so I was very thankful for my daily baby reminder- the never-ending sickness. Although I felt awful, I thanked God multiple times a day for the assurance that everything was ok.

Now that we are 20 weeks, I never think of losing the baby until I hear a random stillborn story and my fears return. Before losing our baby, I rarely heard of miscarriages but now I realize how common it is and it makes me so sad. Then I hear of abortions and watch teen pregnancy shows and get angry. And then I remember that we live in a world of sin and it's temporary. I will never "get over" losing our precious baby but I do have peace knowing I'll get to know {him} one day in a world of perfection.

Welcome!

Well Hi there. If you are coming to us from our previous blog (pruittsgoosetales.blogspot.com), welcome to our new one. If you are new, welcome to our family. Around here you will find family updates, house projects, and book reviews. Enjoy!